Lessons from the Ocean: A Stubborn Woman & A Lesson on Guidance

I can be a stubborn woman, that is a quality that I have in me, I can blame it on the lineage of woman I come from but for whatever reason that is who I can be sometimes. I am flexible, I am understanding, I know my limits but sometimes I just set my mind to something and I just have to do it. Determined? LOL maybe that’s a better way to define it, or at least it sounds nicer. But I can be stubborn too, I work on it, but it’s there and I know it, I am aware. It’s sometimes proven a necessity and been a useful, rewarding trait and sometimes it’s been the exact thing blocking me.

I was in the ocean with my friend Lilly and B last April for Lilly’s birthday. It was my first time being really in the ocean, fully in it, and it was amazing. We swam out and there were waves coming towards us. Lilly, who knows how to surf, was teaching me about the waves, white top means go underwater, clear top means you can ride the wave further in. We were getting a lot of clear tops and I was having a good time just chilling in the water riding the small waves as they came. Then a wave with what I perceived as a sliver, the tiniest hint of white, came towards us, barely noticeable, I swear. Lilly told me to go under and for whatever reason I decided that I did not want to go underwater. Why I thought I shouldn’t heed to mother nature's warning is beyond me, but again, sometimes I don’t know why I do the things that I do. So that wave, that so kindly warned me and I thought I didn’t have to listen to, took me out. I came out of that wave with salt water up my nose and coughing, only to be hit by a second wave shortly after. By the third wave, Lilly had noticed and swam out to pull me out before I got further dragged out to the shore with the rocks.

Getting tossed around by that wave, as scary as it was also a little fun? I probably say this because I didn’t get hurt hurt, just a little roughed around. Had I hit those rocks, most likely I would be thinking differently about that experience.

Lilly spent time with me this past week. We talked about the ocean and life. The way some occurrences just are and how beautiful it is to be within those experiences. There’s something about the ocean that I am drawn to. It’s just this presence, at times it has brought me peace, at times it has brought me clarity, at times fear.

I’m about to make a correlation to the ocean that is cliche, but the ocean and life I have come to view them in similar ways in this regard. I am at the mercy of both. Do I think I have absolutely no control over my life? no. But there are things in life I don’t know and paths where my decisions will lead me. This is something I will spend my lifetime learning, life’s guidance. But what I have found is that when it’s part of the guidance it’s there, it always has been no matter where life has dragged me to, it has found a funny way to put me exactly where I need to be, even if I don’t listen the first, second or third time.